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You may have heard of the helicopter mom or the tiger mom, lots of new parenting styles out there right now.
My parenting style? The Conscious Mom.
The Conscious Mom understands that in order to raise a human being who is responsible for their life we must give them responsibility for their life, even at a young age.
The Conscious Mom understands that raising an independent adult means giving the child the space to make mistakes without punishment. After all don’t we need to understand how every action affects our lives without fear of getting into trouble?
The Conscious Mom understands that making their child wrong for having an emotional day or even a bad day only creates more upset and frustration. Allowing your child to be grumpy just because they are, gives them the space to feel what feeling grumpy creates for them. The Conscious Mom understands that making your child feel bad about having a bad day or throwing a fit only instills an energy of deep inner wrongness that wounds their inner spirit.
The Conscious Mom gets that we all can have extreme emotion but if someone holds a space of allowance for that it makes it easier to identify how yucky it feels allowing it to be released faster than yelling or screaming ever could. The Conscious Mom understands that allowing a child to chose what food they would like to eat without forcing them to eat anything creates a child with body awareness. A child who understands how different foods affect their system. When we force a child to eat a food it tells them we don’t respect their bodies enough to know what works for it. Often teaching them to divorce their body awareness and replace it with stuffing things in even if it doesn’t taste good or feel good.
The Conscious Mom understands how giving their child what they want shows them that this world is an abundant place where you can have whatever you want. It also allows them the space to see how different things affect their space versus always feeling like life is unfair or ungiving.
The Conscious Mom teaches them that they can really have anything they desire. This universe is an abundant place but only if they believe they can create abundance. Instilling this at a young age creates humans who get how very powerful they are and can create things appearing for them as if by magic!
The Conscious Mom teaches their child that every choice they make creates an energy in their life. If they don't like the way their life feels they can just make a different choice. She understands that choices aren't permanent and that life is full of them. She gets that stressing over choices doesn't feel good and is not fun. She chooses to make fast choices that feel good.
The Conscious Mom understands that there is no greater connection than the connection to yourself. She encourages her children to check in with their bodies and see how things feel for them. And she respects how they feel even if she doesn't agree as she understands that how they feel is not up for debate.
The Conscious Mom teaches her child how to make choices based on how choices feel. And she supports her child's choices even when she isn't sure that's the right choice. Her desire to see them learn from what they choose is greater than her desire to be right. She fully understands that there will be a day she won't be around and wants them to know how to navigate this world with a strong sense of what feels good to them.
The Conscious Mom understands that their child internalizes lots of different people's emotions and sometimes the meltdown they are having isn't even theirs. So she is sure to ask lots of questions and even gives them space to do whatever they need without feeling like a brat for having a meltdown.
The Conscious Mom understands that navigating this world is hard. She holds a space of ease for her children. She also maintains ease as much as possible, but if she gets caught in a different emotion, she evaluates it and allows herself to release whatever doesn't feel good.
The Conscious Mom apologizes when she wrong or when she's chosen something she didn't want to like anger. She is real and transparent with her kids, letting them know that sometimes you get caught in things that don't feel good. Sometimes you choose emotional upset when you don't want too. And sometimes you say things you shouldn't have. And all you can do is apologize and choose to be different.
The Conscious Mom understands that we all make mistakes and the fastest way to rebound is to surrender, apologize and release it. There is literally no room for wrongness and punishments.
The Conscious Mom does her best to compliment and encourage her children. Reminding them often who they are not the emotion they may be caught in. Saying things like, "you are so brave for choosing to do that thing you were scared of," and "I love how you stepped up and helped, that felt really good."
The Conscious Mom understands that her children are just like her. They too are trying really hard to navigate this world as an energetic being and sometimes life makes you crumble. But the choice to hold a loving space of acceptance and choice creates people this world requires to move forward as an evolved civilization.
The Conscious Mom is a gift to the future who holds the space we needed when we were little.
Writer Jamie Bates has been raising her children as a Conscious Mom for almost a decade now and what it has created is three daughters (20,16 & 15) who are bright, empathic, aware beings who continuously invite others into a conscious existence where kindness is the instantaneous default.
About the author
Jamie Bates is a consciousness facilitator, author, podcast host, wife, mother, empath, and energy healer. Jamie's podcast, Expand Your Reality offers a wide variety of tools and healing processes that are also found in her many workshops and online programs. Check them all out at www.jamie-bates.com