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  • Writer's pictureJamie Bates

Rituals To Create Change Even When You Don't Know What You Want.

Updated: Nov 6, 2021

The question I get most often is how do I change my life when I’m not sure what I want to do or where I want to be? How in the world do I get from where I am now to something different if I have no idea where I even want to go? Most people know they don't like where they are right now. They're tired of feeling the way they feel. They're tired of living the same day over and over and they are tired of feeling the way they feel. But have no real idea how to be or do anything different.

I totally get it. I've been in this exact same spot and I help people find and create their life differently every single day. So how do you change your life when you don't know where to begin or what you even want?

You have to uncomplicate the process.

You have to give yourself some time and space. You ever hear the phrase, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Well, life change doesn’t happen overnight. The only thing you really need to begin is the decision to not be where you at any longer. Don’t listen to the thoughts that this will be too hard. Or it won’t last. Uncomplicate the process by just choosing to do something different and stop trying to figure it all out with your head.

You have to decide you don't want to be where you are any longer.

I understand what it is like to not like your present reality. Allowing yourself to truly be present with what is, is key. Who you were and mistakes you have made have to be acknowledged. You have to make the conscious choice that you are no longer going to allow your past to decide your future. It's all okay. You did the best you could with the tools you had. Make the choice to move on.

You have to receive where you are now.

You have to stop resisting what is going on around you. Releasing the resistance to what you are experiencing is key. Learn to receive that information into your body and pull it through. In order to change this reality, you have to stop resisting living in it.

You have to get clear about what you do want.

Getting clear is easy once you have defined what you don't like. You don't like your job that is heavy and hard? Choose to have a job that is fun and joyful. You don't like fighting with your spouse any longer? Choose to have a relationship that nurtures and cares for you. Start making easy choices that support a new life for you. At first, this is going to be really hard because you are going to be constantly reminded of the old patterns and choices.

Receive and move on. Does it match what you are looking for? If not make another choice. Find the energy that matches what you are looking for. Stop seeing what is showing up and feeling bad for yourself because of it. That will not help you create anything different.

Stop feeling bad about your life.

You have to stop feeling bad about being rejected, not being enough, or because people don’t choose you. In fact, you have to stop feeling bad about everything you don’t like. By feeling bad about your life, you are only creating more energy for bad things showing up. Respond to what is there and decline it. No thanks. I don't want that any longer. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Then clearly define what you do want.

Take action steps to create it.

Do things that are going to invoke changes in your life. Stay focused forward on what you desire. Stop aligning with what is present and solidifying it with emotional upset. That is not going to create something different. Be vigilant with small choices you can easily define.

Know that this universe has your back and you are capable of creating whatever you desire.

Put enough energy into anything and it will materialize. Most of the time we don’t know what we want because we don’t think we deserve it or that we can create it. I am here to tell you that’s wrong. You can have a life you love. Learn how to be different and create your life differently with ease.

About the author

Jamie Bates is a consciousness facilitator, author, podcast host, wife, mother, empath, and energy healer. Jamie's podcast, Expand Your Reality offers a wide variety of tools and healing processes that are also found in her many workshops and online programs. Check them all out at


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