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  • Writer's pictureJamie Bates

Taking Personal Responsibility Accelerates Healing

Updated: Jun 22, 2022

We have all done things we aren't proud of. We have said things and done things we wished we hadn't. We’ve made choices that upset us. And yet still we move on.

But mentally and emotionally we may not have.

If you’re still cycling in past regrets, you maybe holding onto an inner wrongness about things that creates a weird space for you to relate to yourself.

You may not be allowing yourself to fully participate in life because of the burden or the perceived burden you feel you created. You may stop yourself from being or doing the things you want to because you feel as though you’re bad or wrong.

All these frequencies can trickle out and create a deep sense of anxiety and inner wrongness in every area of your life. Taking personal responsibility for what you did or said, even if you don’t feel like it’s your fault, will shift the way you feel about your life.

I have learned that when you hold onto energy, like let's say energy where you feel like you're a bad friend because you shared someone's secrets. Then all of a sudden you act like a bad friend even when you really don't want to. It's like you find yourself saying things you didn't mean to say. You find yourself reacting in ways you don't want to be but it's like you literally can't help it. You feel out of control in these situations and often like you are never going to be able to get beyond it.

The good news is you have the power and the ability to create a massive shift in the way you feel and the way you relate to the other people.

It starts with taking personal responsibility for your energy and your actions.

I find this process works on the present and the past. And it also works in person or not. You can do this by just bringing the person up in your mind as well. It doesn't have to be a face to face interaction. Much of the following steps are inner work to create the release of wrongness.

These are the steps I have personally found create a peaceful resolution within yourself:

1. Take responsibility

Admit when you’re wrong. Even if it starts with inner responsibility. Saying to yourself, "Yup I did it again. I created that." This creates a space for it to change. Taking responsibility stops the resistance pattern. When you feel bad about what you did it creates a resistance to your actions. This resistance keeps you from fully embracing the energy but also creates that weird dissonance frequency that stops you from choosing something different. First step, admitting you did something that created upset.

2. Apologize

Saying you’re sorry clears the charge. Admitting you did something and then apologizing for it allows the energy to start shifting. Clearly stating, "I'm sorry I did....... I apologize. I do not want to be that person anymore. It wasn't my intention to (hurt you or whatever). Please forgive me." This apology is a surrendering energy that allows the situation to change. You can do this both in person and just out loud using the person energetically.

3. Pull and receive

Pulling and receiving allows you to energetically clear the space of upset. This is something you do on your own. This process changes the energy dynamically. If you don't know how to pull and receive check out this video.

4. Send back gratitude

Gratitude changes everything. It creates a new space of allowance that gives life to a new beginning. Send gratitude for the chance to experience what you experienced and grateful for their part in it. Gratitude changes everything.

5. Acceptance

Accept within your heart what happened and how brave you were for taking responsibility for what you created. Accept that what happened is not who you are but just an action you were stuck in. Accepting that as just an action allows you to release it and let it go.

6. Choice

Make the choice to not do that anymore. When you function in the active choice you’re the creator of your story. After the above steps then state, "I took responsibility for what I created and I don't want to create that anymore." Making a conscious choice to not do that again does not guarantee you will never do that again but it does move you forward in a new direction. And if you happen to choose it again, remind yourself you do not want to be this person, go through the process and remind yourself you are choosing to change.

Rome wasn't built in a day and your healing won't happen overnight. The reality is you have to learn to be different. It is a process. And sometimes not the easiest. But your willingness and desire to change is all it takes.

About the author

Jamie Bates is a consciousness facilitator, author, podcast host, wife, mother, empath, and energy healer. Jamie's podcast, Expand Your Reality offers a wide variety of tools and healing processes that are also found in her many workshops and online programs. Check them all out at


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