Taking Personal Responsibility Accelerates Healing
Updated: Feb 10
We have all done things we aren't proud of. We have said things and done things we wished we hadn't. We make choices that in hindsight really still upset us. And yet still we move on.
But mentally and emotionally we don't. We hold this feeling of inner wrongness about things that really creates a weird space for us to relate to ourselves. We then often won't allow ourselves to fully participate in life because of the burden or the perceived burden we feel we created. We stop ourselves from being or doing the things we want to because we feel as though we are bad or wrong. This frequency can trickle out and create a deep sense of anxiety and inner wrongness in every area of our life. Taking personal responsibility for what you did or said, even if it didn't feel like your fault will shift the way you feel about your life.
What I have learned is when you hold onto energy, like let's say energy where you feel like you are a bad friend because you shared someone's secrets. Then all of a sudden you act like a bad friend even when you really don't want to. It's like you find yourself saying things you didn't mean to say. You find yourself reacting in ways you don't want to be but it's like you literally can't help it. You feel out of control in these situations and often like you are never going to be able to get beyond it.
The good news is we have the power and the ability to create a massive shift in the way we feel and the way we relate to the other people. It starts with taking personal responsibility for what you have done. I find this process works on the present and the past. And it also works in person or not. You can do this by just bringing the person up in your mind as well. It doesn't have to be a face to face interaction. Much of the following steps are inner work to create the release of wrongness.
These are the steps I have personally found create a peaceful resolution within yourself:
1. Take responsibility
Admit when you are wrong. Even if it starts with inner responsibility. Saying to yourself, "Yup I did it again. I created that." This creates a space for it to change. Taking responsibility stops the resistance pattern. When we feel bad about what we did we create a resistance to our actions. This resistance keeps us from fully embracing the energy but also creates that weird dissonance frequency that stops us from choosing something different. So admitting you did something that created upset is the first step to true change.
Saying your sorry clears the charge. Admitting you did something and then apologizing for it allows the energy to start shifting. Clearly stating, "I'm sorry I did....... I apologize. I do not want to be that person anymore. It wasn't my intention to (hurt you or whatever). Please forgive me. This apology is a surrendering energy that allows the situation to change. You can do this both in person and just out loud using the person energetically.
3. Pull and receive
Pulling and receiving allows you to energetically clear the space of upset. This is something you do on your own. This process changes the energy dynamically. If you don't know how to pull and receive check out this video.
4. Send back gratitude
Gratitude changes everything. It creates a new space of allowance that gives life to a new beginning. Send gratitude for the chance to experience what you experienced and grateful for their part in it. Gratitude changes everything.
Accept within your heart what happened and how brave you were for taking responsibility for what you created. Accept that what happened is not who you are but just an action you were stuck in. Accepting that as just an action allows you to release it and let it go.
Make the choice to not do that anymore. When you function in the active choice you are the creator of your story. After the above steps then state, "I took responsibility for what I created and I don't want to create that anymore." Making a conscious choice to not do that again does not guarantee you will never do that again but it does move you forward in a new direction. And if you happen to choose it again, remind yourself you do not want to be this person, go through the process and remind yourself you are choosing to change.
Rome wasn't built in a day and your healing won't happen overnight. The reality is you have to learn to be different. It is a process. And sometimes not the easiest. But your willingness and desire to change is all it takes. If you need some support check out my signature program Awaken and Align. This process is one we learn to do along with many other healing techniques.
About the author
Jamie Bates is a consciousness facilitator, author, podcast host, wife, mother, empath, and energy healer. Jamie's podcast, Expand Your Reality offers a wide variety of tools and healing processes that are also found in her many workshops and online programs. Check them all out at www.jamie-bates.com